I Am Anti-Lux
September 10, 2021

Wake Up and Go Dark

I want to let everyone know that with the recent announcement from the President regarding vaccine requirements, I know that there are a lot of you there who are upset over what's to come. I just want to let you know that I'm with you. Your right to choose should be sacrosanct.

In fact, I'm joining you by publicly declaring that I am Anti-Lux. Specifically: I'm going to stop using my headlights at night.

For too long, the government has put their bootheel down on us. Working in tandem with Big Headlamp, cars have all been manufactured with these devices in "the interest of public health." I see through their lies, and starting tonight I will no longer use my headlights in the dark, rain, or other low-visibility times.

There have been so few people who have died due to driving without their headlights, I couldn't even find statistics that consistently report them. And even though we have been using headlights for decades, car accidents still happen at night. Can you believe it? The level of safety gained from using headlights is clearly overstated.

Not only that, but headlights can hurt the vision of others! Have you seen those drivers with their custom billion-lumen blue LEDs that burn out the corneas of your eyeballs as they drive by? Because I have. They suck! We should all keep our headlights off to make it so collectively our eyes don't hurt so badly at night.

"But, DivvyO," you might say, "how can I see at night without headlights?!" We have streetlights and other car's headlights to keep us safe. Even pedestrians and bicyclists wear high visibility clothing to ensure their own safety. And let's not forget natural remedies, like carrots to help our vision.

If someone finds themselves driving alone on a rural road in the middle of the night, with nothing to light their way but the stars, then other people may turn their headlights on out of neccessity. I never drive in those places, though, so you can't force me to change my way of behavior based on something I never do in the first place.

It's time for us to rise up. Join the Anti-Lux movement. Don't listen to those tyrants at General Electric and the DMV. Be your own person. Turn off your headlights and keep them off. Every pair of lights off is a victory.

Tell the President to keep his hands off my light switch.


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