A novel solution to second amendment issues
Regarding gun control, I hear concerns from patriots about what kind of weapons they're allowed to own and how to carry them. Some people talk about their need for personal security, while others want to have a sort of individualized check against a possible fascistic government takeover.
The concerns are valid. Crime is on the rise since the pandemic's last peak, and our country is becoming more divided by the day. A need for increased peace of mind is a must, and that's why I'm writing this article in advocacy of the ultimate in protection: a Personal Explosive Device.
Imagine this: something that fits in the palm of your hand, but when activated through a manual pulling of a pin, can create a 30 cubic foot "bubble of safety" where concussive force and shrapnel will prevent any wrongdoers or militants from trespassing.
Imagine the possibilities! Criminals will think twice before coming at you if they see you open-carrying your Personal Explosive Device. You can prevent sexual assaults with the pull of a pin! School shootings will be a thing of the past. And don't even think about that smug minimum wage worker giving you attitude from the other side of the Wendy's counter.
Not only that, but if the government comes a knocking to take your freedom, what do you think you're going to fight them with? Is a semi-automatic homemade rifle going to compare against a UAV or a tank? No! To keep the man in check, you need the next tier of firepower. Sure, hypersonic Rods from God could wipe you out so quickly that you wouldn't even feel it, but with a Personal Explosive Device, you'll make sure that the army has to send their best to get you out of the picture.
I know what you're thinking: With all of these explosive devices flying around, who's to say criminals won't take advantage of them? Of course there's always going to be people who misuse these devices. But if we were to outlaw personal explosives, then only outlaws would have them! You would strip away our protection!
In the interest of fairness and equity, the government should do its job and manufacture three of these for every able-bodied American to use as self defense. If we all know the other person has one, everyone will know better than to use these devices except for the most dire of situations. As we are a country of mentally sound individuals who never over-react over the slightest thing, I see absolutely no downside to this solution.
Write your representative and/or senator today!